When I finally left a controlling/abusive 5 year relationship, I was a confused mess to put it lightly. I didn’t believe in “love” anymore. I didn’t value myself, in fact I didn’t even know WHO “myself” was. I was completely afraid of emotions, feelings, anything to do with making myself vulnerable. I built walls around me, especially when it came to men.
…And then there was YOU.
Tall, handsome, professional smart-ass, hilarious, sometimes clumsy, loving, YOU.
You supported my roller-coaster emotions. The days when I was stubborn and closed-off and wanted to be left alone; you called me out on it. You made me LAUGH again, feel things I had never felt before, you made me feel safe, protected, and loved. You love my son like he is your own, always teaching, guiding, and sharing with him. You quickly became my best friend, it was never awkward or “new and nerve-wracking” with you; it was like we had loved each other forever.
I can’t tell you the exact single moment I knew that I was completely in love with you. I think it was a lot of little moments all rolled into one. Slow dancing with you to one of my favorite country songs, the day you brought Jett his first basketball and watching you teach him to dribble and shoot, the night you carried me to bed after I consumed too much Fireball and had a little emotional meltdown (and you slept next to me the whole night), the way you kissed my forehead after our first date, the way you comforted me when I had a bad anxiety attack and was incredibly embarrassed, the day you brought home gluten-free ravioli and giant sunflowers when I found out I was no longer able to eat some of my favorite foods, the way you love to talk about the future and our goals, the way you laugh when I lip-sync Eagles and Elton John songs, the way we laugh together constantly, the way we finish each others sentences…and recite the same exact words ALL. THE. TIME, the love notes and fresh coffee you leave me every morning, the way you show emotion and compassion for others, the way you love to hold my hand, the way you sincerely listen to my dreams, ideas, and support them whole-heartedly, the way you have helped me love myself and realize my potential, the way you have loved me and my son- fiercely but gently and with everything you have.
My losses, pain, and rough patches in my life led me down a path directly to you, and I am forever grateful. Thank you for changing my life in so many ways, being my #1 fan, and making me a believer in love.
I love you, I GET you, and I will always support you in anything and everything you believe in.