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FESS UP FRIDAY: Poppin’ Bottles

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I’m not talking about Chandon, or Cristal…I’m talking about all those bottled up emotions. Yep. Very similar to popping a bottle of champagne. Sometimes it goes smoothly and just as planned but makes a bit of noise, other times the cork goes flying around the kitchen and the champagne starts to overflow beyond your control. Either way, the outcome tends to be pretty eventful.

CONFESSION: I AM A “BOTTLER”

I am not great with communicating emotion, which is why I write. I have learned over the years to store everything safely inside, write about it, and then try as hard as I possibly can to let it go after that. Men like to think that women enjoy arguing (and maybe some of them do) but I do NOT. I do not like the vulnerability of it, and I don’t like how we tend to say things that we don’t really mean.
In fact even the very thought of it makes my stomach churn.

They say that when you’re in an argument and it starts to escalate to just simply take a few deep breaths, or maybe even take a walk. Tell your partner or the person you are arguing with that you are going to take a few moments to yourself. This is supposed to help entirely avoid those rude comments or comebacks you thought of BEFORE YOU SAY THEM. I have found this to work in a lot of situations, we are better at having conversations when we are not so rattled or upset.

CONFESSION: I LIKE TO ESCAPE

I’m not proud of it, and I have never claimed to be. I’m sure it has a lot to do with my past and things I’ve been through, but it doesn’t make it OK. I like to hide away from people when I am struggling. I am first in line to help someone else through a tough time, even people I barely know: but I have a VERY hard time asking for help from others in my own life. My mother and closest friends know this about me…when I’ve continuously flaked on plans or I’m texting instead of returning phone calls: something is going on with me. I am not happy with myself when I behave this way, it is one of my coping mechanisms I have displayed since a younger child, but it is not the one I want to utilize any longer…and you know what?
I don’t have to. That’s the beauty of it.

FACT: YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE YOUR HABITS

habits
I am still a work in progress. I am nowhere near finished improving my habits and my life. I have lived with fears and anxieties of disappointing others for most of my life. I am a sensitive soul, and I often feel things so much more intensely than most which makes me play hide and seek with my feelings at times. The idea that that I have to plant myself in the middle of confrontation or a serious conversation and weather the storm- scares me…but I am learning to do JUST that. In every situation where I have succeeded:  I felt stronger, braver, and better about myself as a woman, a mother, and an individual. The power of change and improvement lies within all of us, we just have to learn HOW to use it, make sure we use it correctly, and just simply, START.

What habits are you wanting to work on, cut-out, or change in your life?
If you’re reading this- it’s not too late.

♥ Britt

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34 responses »

  1. Jeanne Decamara

    Amen!! 2 choices in life, love or fear, and most of us choose fear more often than we should and so I too am a work in progress.. You have come a long way ….xoxo

    Reply
  2. Love what Jeanne said. Love or fear- I REALLY need to keep that in mind more often. I have anxiety which gives me a lot of irrational fears and I’m trying my best to overcome that and tell my anxiety to shutup when I start worrying too much!

    Reply
    • I couldn’t agree more! Jeanne is my Momma! She’s part of my inspiration in starting this project, she’s a spiritual wise woman 🙂 so are you! A lot of who write have anxieties- I think writing is our way of expressing ourselves in a way that maybe we wouldn’t choose to do face to face. Im glad that was inspiring for you! ❤

      Reply
  3. i am a bottler as well! i cannot stand confrontation – some my personality some from my past – but i know that sometimes you have to work through situations. (i say sometimes, but really, it’s most of the time) Bravo for realizing it and working toward change!

    Reply
  4. This was reassuring in many ways. It resonated with me because the path to becoming stronger takes so much time and effort on the part of the affected individual. I’m also a pretty sensitive person, so many things affect me strongly and it can be difficult to manage at times. One of the best things I’ve learned to do is pat myself on the back when I handle a situation bravely. I once had a supervisor tell me that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. When it comes to human emotions, it definitely takes a bit more than 21 days to recover, but here’s hoping that we can all get over our hurdles someday soon and find inner peace.

    Reply
    • Thats great Jessica! I have heard that before also, but yes- the
      emotional hurdles take quite a bit longer, but its definitely NOT impossible 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

      Reply
  5. I am SUCH a bottler. My husband and I decided after a few disagreements that I tell him how long I need, he doesn’t bother me during that time, and then we talk when the time is up. It helps me avoid saying things I don’t mean!

    Reply
  6. I bottle and then let it all out to my husband every night. It is my coping mechanism.

    Reply
    • That is what I have been working on. A lot of the times I feel “guilty” or feel like I’m complaining, but I know my boyfriend always encourages me to let it out. That’s great that you guys do that!

      Reply
  7. I really love the term. It’s cute. So true though. I love to release those pent up feelings and anxiety through my creative outlets. Blogging being a huge one.

    Reply
  8. I’ve done a lot of growing in this area too. When I first got married, if any bad thing started to arise I would lock myself in the bathroom instead of facing the problem. I’m able to face confrontation more easily now. I hang on to Romans 12:2 and know I am being transformed. Great post.

    Reply
    • I have done the same thing…why the bathroom?! LOL My bedroom door locks but for some reason its such a safe place. Isn’t that ironic? I am so happy for you and thank you for sharing with me!

      Reply
  9. I definitely hate confrontation, and the times I ever have never went well, so that gives me all the more reason to hate it! 🙂

    Reply
  10. I love to escape too haha but more so with internal struggles. If I have issues with ppl I like to deal with it right away and probably not in the most tactful way.. :p I could learn to work on that.

    Reply
  11. Sounds like you have a lot of changes that you’re going through at the moment to help yourself. I’m the same with going quiet when things are wrong. My friends always know something’s up!

    Katie ❤

    Reply
  12. Love that quote in your post – it’s absolutely true! I am always quiet when I’m upset – always.

    Reply
  13. I like so escape too! I also have a bad time with staying connected with friends or making lasting relationships. I do however have a long term serious boyfriend so everything is fine in that department!

    Reply
    • I am the same way Lindsay. I have a tendency to drift off- and not for any particular reason but just because I don’t always reach out to other when I need to. But I am getting better about that by the day!

      Reply
  14. It’s great that you have the insight and awareness to evaluate yourself and understand your comfort zone and desired area of development. I’m sure that with your convictions, you’ll continue to gain confidence in difficult situations.

    I’m similar in the way that I also don’t want to ask others for help, instead choosing to sludge through things myself, although that’s probably the more difficult route. I particularly liked “I am not great with communicating emotion, which is why I write.”

    Ditto. Writing about difficult moments is valuable and cathartic, and I think that those situations/mindsets often yield the best writing. Warmest wishes with your on-going development.

    xo,
    lauriel

    EyeForElegance.com

    Reply
  15. I am always hiding too when I am upset, hate to ask people/let them know when there is an issue

    Reply
  16. I am one of those people who must let people know when Im upset because all the years of therapy have told me to do that lol

    Reply
  17. Depends…. If it’s someone important I gently confront. If not I usually ignore because I truly can’t be bothered. I don’t think it’s wise to bottle up though, even though that seems like the easier solution long term it seems stressful.
    http://www.thecrushworthy.com

    Reply
  18. I keep quiet and bottle it all up too, girl! You’ve not alone.

    Reply
  19. I bottle things up too, and then I snap… I know it isn’t healthy but it’s hard to break from, especially when there’s no one around to vent to.

    Reply
    • You are absolutely correct. Even at times when there ARE people around to vent to, I have a hard time admitting that some days. Work in progress, every day stronger! 🙂

      Reply
  20. Our drive home from work together makes it nice to kind of let it all out. My boyfriend made a rule that we can’t bring it out of the car though, which has been really good!

    Reply
  21. This is such a true post. I have a bad habit with taking on too many projects or being too distracted to focus on just one. It takes a lot of determination on my part to really focus and get stuff done quickly.

    Reply
  22. this is such an honest post! something i’m trying to work on right now is my work/life balance! i work for a church, which i LOVE, but work can also follow me home…i need to be better with boundaries!

    Reply

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