I fit in somewhere between “a hermit who likes to stay at home alone” and “someone who can’t go too long without interaction.” What a strange and inconvenient place to be! Learning to be alone and spend time with myself has been a challenge for me.
Even though I felt so alone in my past relationship, I physically was NEVER truly alone. I had my son 24/7, my stepdaughter Jaidyn, and even on the rare occasion where both of them were with their Grandma, I still had my first baby (my bulldog Kayla). But being TRULY alone without a soul (animal or human) in the house except mine- has been my reality lately.
Spending so much time alone has helped me in many ways. I have had to sit alone with my thoughts and memories and process things I never wanted to confront before. My writing has been much more consistent and healing. I have learned to appreciate the man who works so hard for my son and I- even more than I already did. I have picked up books I’ve been wanting to read for awhile but never got around to, my faith has grown stronger, my creativity is flowing, and I have created and finished projects that I have had in my mind for months.
On an even more important note: Being alone has also taught me a lot about love…healthy love.
This is one of my favorite quotes that I have kept in my heart and my mind for a very long time. My mother sent it to me when I was in a rough place in my life, feeling lonely and depressed, and just completely down on myself. She told me that until I learned to love myself and my own company, I couldn’t possibly give someone else the love they deserved and needed.
Guess what? Mom was absolutely right…no surprise there. (Mothers usually are!)
I am confident now that I am loving others with everything I have- because I have grown to LOVE MYSELF.
It’s not selfish or self-centered, it has nothing to do with image or ego- just simply enjoying and embracing who you are.
You can miss your loved ones, you can even wish they were home and that you weren’t alone-
but don’t allow it to make you lonely. Keep yourself busy and become your own best friend.
Here is a list of 10 ways to date yourself and enjoy time alone
1. Write- whether it’s in a journal, a blog post, a story, anything at all- just write.
2. Read a new book, or finish one you haven’t gotten around to!
3. Take a bubble bath! Candles, music, a glass of wine- RELAX and breathe.
4. Make yourself a nice dinner- I’m not talking about throwing a Lean Cuisine meal into the microwave, I mean to get in the kitchen and make yourself a meal that you would make for someone else! Spoil yourself.
5. Bake something delicious! Baking is one of my favorite things to do.
6. Paint your nails, give yourself a pedicure, maybe even get around to tweezing those brows you’ve been avoiding!
7. Re-organize areas of your home that you have left messy and unattended. It is proven that clutter and disorganization create a more stressful and chaotic environment. Simplify your life and you will feel SO much better I promise!
8. Head to the craft store and find a new project, maybe even paint on a new canvas.
9. Follow along with a Yoga or Pilates video and get those endorphins flowing
10. Take a nice walk and appreciate the fresh air and your surroundings.
WHAT DO YOU DO TO KEEP BUSY WHEN YOU BEGIN TO FEEL LONELY?
I want to know!