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Being your own BFF.

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I fit in somewhere between “a hermit who likes to stay at home alone” and “someone who can’t go too long without interaction.” What a strange and inconvenient place to be! Learning to be alone and spend time with myself has been a challenge for me.

Even though I felt so alone in my past relationship, I physically was NEVER truly alone. I had my son 24/7, my stepdaughter Jaidyn, and even on the rare occasion where both of them were with their Grandma, I still had my first baby (my bulldog Kayla). But being TRULY alone without a soul (animal or human) in the house except mine- has been my reality lately.

Spending so much time alone has helped me in many ways. I have had to sit alone with my thoughts and memories and process things I never wanted to confront before. My writing has been much more consistent and healing. I have learned to appreciate the man who works so hard for my son and I- even more than I already did. I have picked up books I’ve been wanting to read for awhile but never got around to, my faith has grown stronger, my creativity is flowing, and I have created and finished projects that I have had in my mind for months.

On an even more important note: Being alone has also taught me a lot about love…healthy love.

This is one of my favorite quotes that I have kept in my heart and my mind for a very long time. My mother sent it to me when I was in a rough place in my life, feeling lonely and depressed, and just completely down on myself. She told me that until I learned to love myself and my own company, I couldn’t possibly give someone else the love they deserved and needed.

Guess what? Mom was absolutely right…no surprise there. (Mothers usually are!)
I am confident now that I am loving others with everything I have- because I have grown to LOVE MYSELF.
It’s not selfish or self-centered, it has nothing to do with image or ego-Β  just simply enjoying and embracing who you are.
You can miss your loved ones, you can even wish they were home and that you weren’t alone-
but don’t allow it to make you lonely. Keep yourself busy and become your own best friend.

Here is a list of 10 ways to date yourself and enjoy time alone

1. Write- whether it’s in a journal, a blog post, a story, anything at all- just write.
2. Read a new book, or finish one you haven’t gotten around to!
3. Take a bubble bath! Candles, music, a glass of wine- RELAX and breathe.
4. Make yourself a nice dinner- I’m not talking about throwing a Lean Cuisine meal into the microwave, I mean to get in the kitchen and make yourself a meal that you would make for someone else! Spoil yourself.
5. Bake something delicious! Baking is one of my favorite things to do.
6. Paint your nails, give yourself a pedicure, maybe even get around to tweezing those brows you’ve been avoiding!
7. Re-organize areas of your home that you have left messy and unattended. It is proven that clutter and disorganization create a more stressful and chaotic environment. Simplify your life and you will feel SO much better I promise!
8. Head to the craft store and find a new project, maybe even paint on a new canvas.
9. Follow along with a Yoga or Pilates video and get those endorphins flowing
10. Take a nice walk and appreciate the fresh air and your surroundings.

I want to know!



35 responses »

  1. Jeanne Decamara

    I knew one day you’d come around ! Just teasing you, but remember the song I always played you. “Learn to be still” Think we all need more of that xoxo

  2. I’m totally the same way- love to be home alone but also start to lose my mind if I go without interaction for too long. I’ve had to train myself to call and invite a friend to lunch or whatever if I start feeling like I need to get out!

  3. This is so great. While I don’t get much alone time with kids, it is nice to have some alone time once in awhile.

  4. I have come to the conclusion that alone time is seriously something everyone needs BIG TIME. I know during my alone time/hermit time I am getting so much more done and it is refreshing to just enjoy yourself. I absolutely love this post!

  5. Great list. It is so important to get to that point where you can treat yourself as your own BFF – kind words and positive thoughts and all.

  6. I love these tips, I really need to take notice of these. something you said really stuck with me. That was the bit in the quote about using other people as a means of escape. I think I am really guilty of doing that a lot!

    Saying that, alone time is sometimes really bad for me too. Leaving me to my own mind is dangerous. I’m a really deep thinker and sometimes I can really wind myself up in my thoughts and get really depressed!

    Katie ❀

  7. Britt, your posts have a way of making me feel at peace with myself. Thank you. I agree with making special meals for ourselves. When I’m feeling down, I like to treat myself to a really delicious meal that I would normally find myself making for another person. I also bake my favorite desserts and once I’ve eaten a few to pick myself up, I invite my friends over to share in my change of mood πŸ™‚

  8. These are great tips. It’s funny, I’ve found that at times in the past when I wasn’t taking time to have solitary time, it was because I was afraid of what was going on with me, and filling up the time covered up those issues. Now my quiet time is so crucial to my mental health. πŸ™‚

  9. Jenna @ A Savory Feast

    I’m enjoying a night alone tonight! I used to almost prefer being alone, but I’m a lot more social now! I still like to have a night to myself every now and then to recharge and relax.

  10. I am an introvert to my core, and I CRAVE my alone time. I have absolutely no problem at all taking myself out to a movie or do dinner, completely alone. I think it really does give you a chance to reflect on who you are and what you need in life. Kudos to you for taking the time to really evaluate what this stage means to you, and good luck for the future!

  11. I feel similar, there are many times when I’m totally fine just sitting at home crocheting-my favorite past time. And it seems to be so relaxing. I can’t be home for too long though, I get all stur crazy and have to get out.

  12. Love this idea! I do like my own company, but do like to interact with others too otherwise I would go mad.

  13. At this point in my life I am rarely alone. I crave alone-time. That’s how I grew up. I love the quiet and the stillness. I do enjoy the company I am with, but being by myself definitely rejuvenates me. I don’t usually find myself getting bored: I have too many things I want to do. There are many people in my family that just can’t be alone ever. They just can’t do it. I love the idea of dating yourself and your list of ideas. I’ll share these!

    • Thank you Rochelle! I am envious that you are so good at spending time with yourself, I am truly getting there though! Each time gets easier and easier and I have even started a running list of ideas and kept them on Notepad on my phone…when I find myself sitting there lonely and unsure of what to do- that list comes out and I ALWAYS have something to be busy doing! Thank you for your support it means the world to me!

  14. I love this. I have begun to have more alone time in recent years and felt more comfortable with it as well.

  15. I love these. Spending time alone is great. At first it seems like you don’t want to be alone, but doing things alone is literally like one of my favorite things!

  16. I love alone time – It helps you get to know yourself! And there isn’t anything wrong with that!

  17. With 2 little kids I don’t have enough time alone to get lonely. These are great tips though β™₯

  18. Moms are usually right! I haven’t taken a bubble bath in awhile, i may have to add to my to do list.

  19. Making time for yourself seems to be a theme lately. I wrote about it recently too. I have been finding time to love on me a little more. As a mom, it can be tough but it’s so needed!

  20. Taking a bath is my favorite alone time. I take one nearly every day. I am so glad you recognize the importance of enjoying alone time and that you’re sharing your ideas with us. It’s hard to be alone when you haven’t in so long but once you become comfortable with it again it’s really enjoyable.

  21. I don’t even know what I would do if I had a few moments to myself! A bubble bath sounds nice πŸ™‚

  22. I used to hate being alone. Now that I have two kids I would kill someone for some alone time (not literally). Oh how I miss everything on that list.

  23. througheyesmrs

    I can relate! I love my alone time but it’s all about finding the perfect balance. Sometimes I’d much rather be alone.

  24. What a great concept. I am totally guilt of pushing my own needs behind those of my family. I need to take more bubble baths!

  25. I actually love being alone. I fill my life with so many challenges and hobbies, I actually spend too much time doing my own thing and don’t give enough time to my partner! However this does mean that I’m fulfilled and the time I give him is usually a happy me! I wholeheartedly agree with every single one of your list πŸ™‚

  26. I think it’s important to spend time alone so we can become comfortable in our own skin. We have to be secure in our own bodies.

  27. that’s so great that you grew and learned so much about yourself in that time of solitary. I know I need to do this myself. Even though I actually am physically alone.. I have things like blogging and social media to distract me from really reflecting!

  28. These are such great ideas. I am very introverted (despite seeming outgoing in person, haha) but I’ve just become really good at “acting” when I need to. It’s not that I’m not myself, but I can turn it on when I’m around a crowd. Afterwards I usually need a lot of time to myself to recover from so much stimulation.

  29. Great list! There was a time where I hated being alone, I would go out and do whatever just so I was around other people. As I got older I cherished the time I had alone more and more…

  30. Over the years, I’ve really come to appreciate alone time! Now I really love days spent alone!

  31. I used to have such a hard time being along but more and more lately I’m getting used to it and enjoying it! Great list, I’ll have to remember some of these!


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